Don't give up

The dr.'s say there is nothing more we can do for you. We have tried 3 types of injections, all types of therapies, surgery, medicines, what more can we do?!
Just get used to spending your life in a wheelchair.
My dr. handed me a permanent disability application and suggested that I apply for disability.
He told me he would continue to give me pain medications but there was nothing else left.

I went home and thought . Here I am, 21 years old, and the dr.'s think I will spend my life in a wheelchair.
I decided to answer "No!"
If insurance won't cover therapy, I will do it myself.  I started going swimming daily and bought myself an exercise bike.
Slowly but surely , every day, I pushed myself a little more. One step, 2 steps, etc.. until I was able to walk across my bedroom independently.
6 months after the dr. despaired of getting me off of crutches, I started being able to walk short distances with  a cane.
A long year after that, I am walking with out walking aids.

Lessons learnt from the garbage man

It was snowing in Chicago and my car was under about 2 feet of snow. I have automatic defrost but it doesn't seem to be doing the job. I get outside and slowly but surely start scraping off. At least 20 cars pass me standing there on my crutches scraping the snow when the garbage truck comes down the street. The driver isn't making it's usual stops. It came all the down the block  and stopped next to me. He gets out of the car and says 'ma'am you can sit. I will take care of it.' Within 5 minutes, my car was cleared out. I thanked him profusely as he drove off.
A week later, a new snow storm, and I go out thinking I wish the garbage truck will pass by. I come outside and see my car all cleared off. There is a note by the window "please allow me to do this kindness for you when I am able".
Sure enough, the whole winter, this amazing "simple" garbage man shoveled out my car on every garbage day.

Comments Never to make

(1) You are still on crutches ?

(2) Are you ever going to get better?

(3) It can't really be that bad. Are you doing this for the attention?

(4) The only reason you are not better is because: you are not taking proper care of yourself/going to the right dr./following x suggested treatment plan, etc..

(5) If I was a really close friend you would share your medical situation with me.

(6) You look so funny when you walk that way.

(7) Don't complain about your situation. I know someone who is going through much worse and she isn't complaining.

(8) you look terrible

(9) I am so jealous of you that you got a month off of work for sick leave..

You are so lucky that you get to park in the handicapped spot

Why would people be jealous of a handicapped placard?
Unless someone gets the placard through the wrong way, any one who has it is because they need it.
You might want the permit but do you really want to be physically disabled and unable to walk further distances?! Asking someone to borrow their placard or expressing jealousy that they don't need to walk far is a gross insensitivity to someone who wishes more than anything to be able to walk 5 minutes to the car.

I know what you are going through b/c ..

If someone has a permanent / chronic disability, you do not know what they are going through because you went through something similar for 2 weeks.

If someone has been married for 10 years without children, you don't know what they are going through after waiting 6 months for your first.

If someone is going through chemo, you do not understand their  nausea because you just had the stomach virus.

I understand the need to emphasize but this type of understanding made me feel like my pain was nothing after all so many people know exactly what I am going through. 

Hashem Loves You..

You are going through this because Hashem loves you and he is doing this to make you closer to him... Um, thanks. So would you like to be loved like this?

Lessons Learnt: This is not a consolation. While there may be a million reasons why I have to go through this struggle, you are not helping by saying that you can understand that G-d did this because he loves me.

Maybe its all in your head?!

If I can't understand it, it must be made up... A hurtful philosophy that many people seem to follow.
It starts with the dr.'s  who can't make a diagnosis- there is no apparent reason for your pain so it must be psychological
And continues with the physical therapists - There is no reason that I can understand why you can't do this exercise. Therefore you must not be trying hard enough.
And continues with the general public- I don't see anything wrong with your foot so you must be faking.

Lessons Learnt: Always judge another person favorably. Except for rare cases, people will not make themselves go through trauma , pain, treatments, etc.. just for attention.